I don't know anymore

I'm afraid things will never be the same again. Even after it happened once I believe it will never be the same but now the second time around it's not as heartbreaking yet I feel so lost and my life feels like a lie. My school work is going downhill rapidly because I can't concentrate and I am starting to feel hopeless and without direction again after I was so driven and excited for new goals and prospects in my life. 
         What will hapen now that It looks like I've yet wasted another school semester and more money? Why should I have to live up to other peoples expectations instead of just being myself and doing whatI feel like doing , after all it is MY life and MY mind. I should be doing whatever makes me happy and if being successful is a product of that then that would be great. Ugh I'm falling apart again I can feel it. I just wish circumstances in my life didn't have to affect me mentally and my goals. It's all one big ugly cycle that I'm not sure how to or If I s subconsciously want to get out of... 
         I feel like I just need to get out of here and spend some time all by myself, move to downtown los angeles and just do what I want. Am I just wasting time or do I really need to stick with these goals I thought I had to finish because I wanted to please people, are these goals truly for myself? Fuck people and their expectations.

I'm back.

So now that I have a lot of time on my hands I am starting this blog up once again.
Time has been passing by ever so quickly, and I'm just trying to enjoy life as much as I can.

Anyway, I will be posting mostly about make-up ideas, applications, fashion tips, my photography, and maybe an occasional depressing rant. Haha.

So here are a couple of make-up looks I did over the holidays. This one is from my new Urban Decay palette in "Sustainable" I love most of the colors in the palette although a few of them have a lot glitter fallout, like Uzi. but they are gorgeous colors nonetheless. I think my two favs would have to be "Half Baked"
and "Midnight Cowboy Rides Again". It also comes in a cool eco friendly bamboo case.


This look was my new years eve look. There was lot's of glitter.





This was my outfit for T.A.O or Together as one, for those who don't know, it's a new years eve rave in downtown Los Angeles. Please excuse my horribly dirty room, I always throw everything around when I'm getting ready for events.


And this dress, I got to wear on new years day. It's awesomely flashy and glitzy.

Just got back from Vegas.

It was good. Next time I am getting V.I.P. for all the clubs I go to. My friends and I couldn't get into Lavo because we went too late then Andrew forgot his button up shirt but luckily we were staying there at the Venetian so all he had to do was run up. I will post some pics up as soon as I upload them all.

Cha Cha Cha Changes...

So I'm finally updating and going to try doing do weekly. So hmmm, way too many things to catch up on. I live in Pomona with my boyfriend in an apartment, we have a kitty named Miss Kittin. I work at Micheals arts & crafts and going to school. blah blah blah. Anyways, I'll post some pictures I took with my Nikon Andrew got for me for our 3 year anniversary. 

Set me free

Haven't written in so long. For the past 5 months or so I have lost something i used to have. I used to isolate myself and there was this sadness within me and I never really could get that close to anyone emotionally. I was trapped in my own little world that no one could get into. Things are different now though.

I got a new camera so I will be updating a lot more. Saturday was my birthday and I got a lot of Hello Kitty stuff. yay! Today I bummed it around the house and slept a lot. Tomorrow night I am going to Genre with Anna and Maria.

yehhh

Finally updating...

Today I went over to the dorms then went to work around 4 got there early so I decided to go to subway. Well apparently that wasn't such a good idea because about an hour later while I was being register trained I began to feel hot, dizzy, and faint. I came back hoping it would go away but 10 minutes later I felt like I was going to throw up so I went to the bathroom again and puked. I had to go home which really sucked because I really need those hours.

Last sunday I took Maria out to Le Disko for her 18th b-day. We got there around 7:30 so we decided to hang out with David whom we had met at a party two weeks earlier. We ended up having to leave a bt earlier than expected but it was cool, we had fun.















































So then I had an idea to strip my hair lastnight so that I could dye it light brown. It kinda worked but I think it was because I had so many layers of hair dye on it that I should have stripped it twice although that would have really damaged my hair.